Teaching Eli to sparkle

In return for learning some mad ninja skillz, Johnny taught Eli some of that special sparkle and charm that Johnny has. So Johnny figures that Eli can be taught the same basic way that Joe Barclay learned the trick.

Except taking Eli into bars to pick up guys would be almost like shooting fish in a barrel with an automatic shotgun. Way too easy and she wouldn’t learn anything about the Discipline, even if she did have a good time doing it. So Johnny figured it had to be tougher than that. Now, Johnny does have to say it was really fuckin’ enjoyable to watch Eli and Johnny did have to find some coed and take care of business every night after watching it all, but Johnny really did think it was the best way for her to learn, not just for Johnny to get his rocks off.

So Johnny decides that Eli has got to do exactly what Barclay did. Which was to pick up a straight woman in a bar and score the digits. And this time, Johnny would be listening in making sure Eli wasn’t doing the whole friends thing.

Eli kinda looked at Johnny all weird at first and Johnny figures she thought Johnny was doing it for Johnny’s own enjoyment. But after Johnny said that Barclay had to do the same thing, she agreed.

So we wander down to one of the bars down in Newport . Figure it shouldn’t be too hard, since those places tend to have college girls, or girls recently out of college and they tend to be kind of experimental, you know? Willing to try new things and Eli is more than hot enough for a bi-curious sorority girl to say “what the hell?” right?

Not that night. She got all kinds of weird looks, a few boyfriends either threatened her or tried to convince her to go for a three-way (not that the girlfriends seemed happy with their boyfriends when that got brought up) and even got slapped by one bitch around closing time. So it was back to basics.

The next night it was another bar and things seemed to go better. No one got slapped, but the only digits were from some chick that just wanted to be friends. Sorry, not good enough.

The next night we bailed on the beach bars in Newport and went and hit the Yardhouse up in Long Beach . You know, Jenning’s place. Wanted to see if that dillweed was around and of course, he wasn’t. So Johnny set Eli to work on those 30 and 40 somethings, the professional women looking to blow off steam. Holy shit, Eli was like fuckin’ catnip. She had women hitting on her, but that wasn’t the point. She eventually struck up a conversation at the bar with this 30-something that looked like she’d come straight from work for happy hour and just happened to stay. She was with friends and had a wedding ring on. Hot little blonde number. So they talk, and Johnny can hear it’s going exactly how it’s supposed to. Then Eli goes for it, goes for the trick, pops the Awe and suddenly the little blonde is ready to go. They disappeared into the bathroom for a couple of minutes and Eli comes back to Johnny, leaving the blonde in the bathroom.

Eli has got this grin like the cat got the canary and she hands Johnny this little green thong and there’s numbers on them. She won’t fuckin’ say if she did or didn’t do anything to the blonde, just smiles and shrugs and Johnny, and we don’t stick around long enough for her to finally leave the bathroom. But little Eli got it and she got it a lot quicker than Barclay did.

Lot more fun to watch too.

Weird and Wyld Halloween

Why is it that the weirdest shit happens around Halloween?

Fighting ancient Celtic cults and spirits you can’t actually touch is not my idea of a rockin’ Halloween. Damn. Missed out on all kinds of hotties and tramps and sluts and whores because Johnny had to fights this shit with Alexander Worthington (damn is he nearly useless for anything but going crazy), Lucien Heisenrich or whatever the wizard’s last name is, Sharky (ain’t seen him in a while) and the Gangrel terrorist himself, Joe Barclay.

Ain’t bad guys (except maybe for Lucien, still not sold on him), but there ain’t a pussy among them and they sure as hell would look like shit wearing a bustier.

So anyway, Johnny was just taught some of that ninja-like Obfuscate by Eli Keenan. She’s that Assamite Anarch out in Baltimore , but she tends to wander some and ain’t exactly a stranger to SoCal. She still won’t teach the real Assamite ninja skills, but hey, maybe given enough time she will. Or if Johnny can come up with an offer she can’t refuse.

So we went off to Johnny’s new warehouse, the one that the rest of the Anarchs don’t yet know about. Lots of boxes and crates and shadows and shit. And the next few nights she taught Johnny how to get real still and real quiet and just blend into the shadows. Gotta stay still or the shadows, like, go away somehow, or if Johnny makes a noise, but it is pretty damn cool.

No, it’s not like the shadows wrap around or nothin’. Not like a Lasombra thing. It’s different than that. It’s more like, what, a cloaking device, like the Predator had.

It’s pretty damn cool. Gonna try to get Eli to teach Johnny the next step, how to actually move around like the Predator. Then Johnny would be on his way to being a ninja. Johnny is already the Drunken Monkey kung fu master. Working on being all samurai with the swords and sai and shit. Now Johnny is also on his way to being a ninja. Fuckin’ Awesome.